


Invisible Troubles

by chibijazride



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gakuen, Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5152988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibijazride/pseuds/chibijazride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matthew Williams is an ordinary student at Hetalia Academy of the Prestigious, just a few problems here and there... like not paying attention to his own problems in favor of worrying of other's problems...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. September 24th

_"Alfred! Wait up!" I called out to him as I raced behind him to get to the gym. He didn't hear me and kept running, turning around a corner and suddenly smacking into something that made him fall._

_Panting, I caught up to him moments later. We had run all the way from our dorm room, hoping we wouldn't be late to orientation. Which at the moment seemed like a very probable outcome to our hastiness... I glanced down at Alfred who was sitting and holding a hand to his forehead. Rolling my eyes, I looked over at the boy he had managed to run over. He was pretty slim, almost like me, brown/auburn hair, with amber-colored eyes, tears visible in the corners._

_"Damn it, Feli! I told you not to run ahead of me!" I glanced up at the voice, seeing another boy who looked exactly like the first one—Feli, I guessed—with the exception of his hair being slightly darker with eyes that had a greenish haze to them. "See! You already ran into someone!"_

_"Ah, sorry, fratello!" Feli said about to cry, still on the ground. From the sound of the accent in their voices, they had to at least be of European descent, if not actually European. I guess that made sense since this was an international school._

_Behind him, the look alike growled. I nervously glanced at my brother. "Um, Alfred…?"_

_Once again, he didn't hear me. He just stood and helped Feli up, checking him over to see if he was fine. "Whoa, sorry dude! I didn't mean to run into you!"_

_"It's okay!" He instantly jumped to his feet upon hearing the apology, geez—he sure got over it fast. "I'm Feliciano Vargas, I'm new here and this is my older brother, Lovino!"_

_"Hey, I can introduce myself just fine." Lovino grumbled walking forward and standing next to his brother with a cross expression. That was sort of weird… weren't most people nice when you first met them?_

_"Haha, I'm new here, too." He smiled before glancing back to point towards me, "that's my brother, Matthew, and I'm Alfred F. Jones, the greatest friend-person you'll meet!" I facepalmed as my brother struck a 'hero' pose as he called it, chest out with his hands on his waist. Looking around he deflated slightly, "er, do you guys know where the gym is?"_

_"We were just heading there! Why don't we sit together?" Feliciano asked excitedly. He started walking ahead with Alfred. Meanwhile, Lovino cast me a glance. Had he noticed I'd stayed silent and let Alfred introduce me?_

_All four of us walked toward the gym, which somehow we managed to miss on our way there… though I could have sworn that we hadn't passed it. Maybe we turned the wrong way down one of the halls…? I was pretty sure that we hadn't passed the wall with trophy cases before we ran into the Vargas brothers… As soon as we were in the gym, Feliciano pulled all of us to seats near the middle, both him and my brother talking to each other a mile a minute._

_"Matthew, right?" I glanced up shocked at whoever was talking to me; usually no one ever even bothered when they noticed I was the quiet type. It was Lovino. "Why didn't you introduce yourself or even say anything back there?"_

_"Hm? Well…" I paused unsure of what to say. "I'm not sure, my brother is more outgoing… I guess I've just let him introduce me." I said, sometimes my soft voice didn't help me out that much. "He has an easier time making friends too."_

_He snorted. "Of course. So your brother is the popular guy as well, huh?" I gave him a questioning glance and he just pointed at his brother. "We're one year apart, I'm the older one and yet he's always had the most friends; he's extroverted as hell and practically drags me along to everything with him. It's always, 'Feli this' and 'Feli that'. Not that it really matters, I'd rather be left to my own things."_

_I laugh a bit. "Alfred's my younger brother, too. Though, it's by less than a year. He's always been more noticeable than quiet me. He just loves the spotlight," I responded, shrugging my shoulders._

_Lovino just looked at me, a short burst of a laugh escaping him. He nodded. "No one ever really pays attention to me either unless they're criticizing my behavior or complaining about me messing something up."_

_"No one notices me, period," I joked. We shared a small laugh, snickering to ourselves while our sibling's laughter sounded out next to us. "I'm guessing you're in second year, right?"_

* * *

 Matthew dropped his bag onto his desk and immediately threw himself on the bed, landing right on top of the fluffy, red and white striped, micro-fleece blanket. Behind him, he heard the door close as Lovino shut the door and placed his own book bag on a chair. Lazily, Lovino threw himself down on his bed and pulled out his laptop.

"I still can't believe that Francis got the lead role. I mean how the hell does he get the lead in a Shakespeare play? Especially this one! He's all laughing and 'love is beautiful, it must be shared by all'." Lovino stressed the word 'love', imitating the Frenchman to perfection. Matthew shrugged, sitting up against the headboard of his bed and struggling to stifle his laughter. "That's nothing like the lead at all!"

"You have to admit, he's a good actor. And plus, you're playing one of the lead's friends, still a lead role," he answered. It would be their third-no, fourth-production to participate in. Sometimes he wondered just how Lovino hadn't landed a lead role as the protagonist…

"Yeah, well your cousin's a fucking perv, and so are his idiotic friends." Matthew shrugged again. Maybe Francis was a pervert at times, along with Antonio and Gilbert his friends and 'partners-in-crime', but not all the time… "I mean they call themselves the Bad Touch Trio!" He didn't bother responding, knowing that Lovino still considered at least one of them his friend. "I don't know which is worse, Francis's perverted side, or his philosophical side. Tch, actually, they're both just as bad." Matthew shrugged, yawning slightly. Lovino fell silent, mouthing a few words to himself as his laptop finally finished booting up.

Silently, Matthew rolled over and glanced around their shared room. It was a comforting light blue color and was spacious enough for the two of them. They each had a desk, closet, a small bookshelf… and right between the two beds were two small, rectangular windows, each with matching curtains. It was way better than sharing living space with Alfred in Matthew's own opinion. At least now he could actually see the floor beneath his feet and not clothes or wrappers.

He closed his eyes, without taking off his wire glasses. It was a Thursday, one more day of classes and then the weekend would finally be there.

That was the daily routine (if you could call it that) that they'd both fallen into this year. The last year had almost gone by the same way, though of course it felt like it had passed in the blink of an eye.

"Hey Matthew, what was the homework from Human Geo?" The carefully constructed silence shattered as Lovino's voice rang out. He blinked before realizing it was directed at him. Both were on the advanced track, one of the reasons they were at WP-the other being rich parents that could afford sending them to an international school.

"Questions… 24 through 36, but they aren't due tomorrow." Matthew answered in his ever quiet voice. Funny how only two people had bothered to get to know him, and the other wasn't even his brother. He had even managed to scare Alfred once, although he had been standing at his brother's side for a while. And all he had done was ask for notes from a class he had missed.

Alfred wasn't too smart. Well, at least when it came to the real world he wasn't too smart…

"Great." Lovino commented, still absorbed in the screen of his laptop. He was probably working on English or something. "There isn't any other homework might as well get it the fuck over with." Faintly, he could hear Lovino shuffling around, probably getting a book out of his bag.

They fell back into a brief silence, a knock on the door making them both pause and look at each other questioningly. "Lovi!" Lovino shook his head and motioned across his throat for him to stay quiet. Doing exactly the opposite  _just_ to defy him, Matthew stood up and went over to answer it.

As soon as he opened the door, Antonio smiled at him, tilting his head slightly, "is Lovino here?" Matthew wondered if he should pretend that Lovino wasn't there, but then it wouldn't exactly be fair to lie to Antonio.

He nodded, opening the door slightly wider to let him through. "Yes, he is." He pointed towards Lovino's bed, where the Italian was now looking through the pages of his book. Antonio walked in and gently took the laptop from Lovino's lap, closing it. He set it aside, sitting down in the space next to Lovino.

"The hell? I was using that!" Lovino complained, glaring at Antonio. Though to Matthew, it seemed as though Lovino was glaring at him instead of the Spanish student.

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me to a diner in town." A small blush appeared on Lovino's cheeks, his eyes widening slightly. It looked like Lovino was close to letting his jaw fall open.

The reaction elicited a quiet laugh from Matthew. Lovino slowly turned a bit redder while Antonio just chuckled awkwardly.

"Ah, did something happen, Matt?" Both of them turned to look at Matthew making him shake his head quickly in embarrassment. Now he was certain that Lovino was glaring at him with a great intensity.

"Ah, no nothing happened. Don't worry," he tried smiling, but he thought that he saw Lovino mutter something that looked like 'idiot' before saying something to Antonio that he couldn't catch. The Spaniard just chuckled at him, a hand going up to run through his own hair. Matthew sighed, falling backwards.

"So, do you want to come with me? They have delicious lunches; at least that's what I heard." The way that they were interacting made Matthew realize that maybe Antonio wasn't the only one with a crush. Everyone knew that the Spaniard liked Lovino more than a friend, it wasn't impossible to find someone who didn't. He wasn't completely sure if Lovino felt the same way, sometimes it was impossible to notice, but he was sure that the Italian did feel the same way… if going by the blush and way his mouth quivered meant that he liked Antonio.

"Fine," Lovino finally said, pushing off of the bed, "but you're paying, dammit." He picked up a jacket and his wallet from his desk, rolling his eyes at the Spaniard. Antonio stood up and started moving towards the door with a big smile on his face. "I guess I'll be back later…" Lovino grumbled at him, shoving Antonio in front of him. The Spaniard fumbled in his step, chuckling to himself with a prominent blush growing on his cheeks.

"Have fun! Make sure to have Lovino back before ten!" Matthew teased. Lovino threw a scowl at him, watching him smile. Antonio's blush darkened, sputtering something that sounded like "it's not a date", and waved at Matthew, leaving the room the room as quickly as he could.

The last thing Lovino said was an angry sounding "fuck you" before he followed Antonio out the door.

Matthew really did enjoy messing around with Lovino. Which if the other told anyone about, they wouldn't believe him. Then again, no one really believed that the two of them would be really good friends with the personalities that they had. He was shy, soft spoken, a very quiet personality while Lovino's was harsher and loud. Despite that, Lovino was a caring and fun guy, and would really only let his guard down around two people at most. One of them being Matthew. It was a fair trade off, at least they thought so. In fact, sometimes they acted more like brothers than with their actual siblings.

And maybe that's just how the world worked.


	2. September 24th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, after a few years, I've finally revisited this fic and rewritten it/have it mostly completed. I feel that this version is a lot better than the first version I wrote back in like 2012 and was posted to FFnet, lol. I should update once every Thursday.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading in advance and hope you like it!

Matthew quietly laughed to himself, pausing the video he was watching to roll over and look up at the ceiling. He had only watched a few, but was already feeling an itch to get up and do something that involved going outside. He glanced at the window, watching a few leaves flutter past from one of the trees planted around the dormitory building.

That was all it took before Matthew decided to stand up and grab his oversized sweatshirt off the desk chair, pulling it over his head and over his somewhat wrinkled school uniform. Swinging his book bag over his shoulder, he walked towards the door only to stop when he realized his keys were still on his desk. Mentally scolding himself for being prone to forgetting them, he picked them up and made sure to hold them until he was out of the door. He had made that mistake so many times he was sure that Lovino would get mad if he called him to get the door opened. Especially now that he was with Antonio getting lunch. That just spelled out 'annoyed Lovino.'

Once he was all the way outside of the dorm, he placed his keys in his pocket and took a deep breath of the crisp autumn air. It was nice and peaceful outside, very few students wondering around since there were currently classes in session. The trees were already turning golden and falling off of branches onto the ground below. The campus was already very pretty with its brick buildings and gray stoned dormitories, but Matthew thought that it looked its best during autumn, when the colors seemed to melt together, and things started to get ready for their rebirth in spring.

Maybe a long walk around campus would sate the need to do something. If he found a nice quiet place to sit, he could people watch a bit.

After a few minutes he left behind the dormitory area and passed a small rose garden that was between the last dorm and a dining hall. The roses looked to be in their last moments, the petals of some already having fallen while the final ones were turning black at the edges and withering. Among the roses were white marble benches, a pretty white gravel path leading the way to them. According to some of the girls he knew, they were a  _perfect_  place to give a love confession to someone. To him, it was just a nice quiet place to rest and think for a while.

Although there were enough benches for quite a few people to sit at, he decided to give the two people currently sitting in the garden some privacy. There were other areas further ahead that he could sit at.

Letting his feet take him down the path he had memorized to the main buildings, Matthew pulled out his headphones from his bag, plugging them into his phone to listen to music. The cool breeze felt nice against his face as he slowly made way across the campus, a small, soft smile gracing his features as the music filled in the silence around him.

He reached the small area between the library and a common area for the students to relax in, sitting down on a wooden bench and setting his book bag off to the side. There would be another 20 minutes of silence before class was out and students would rush to the next one or back to their dorms for the day. It was nice to just have some time alone to think.

Matthew closed his eyes, letting the warmth of the sun contrast with the breeze and letting his thoughts run free in mind. He didn't know how long it had been, but after a while the feeling of warmth was gone, confusing him to the point of opening his eyes. There hadn't been clouds in the sky, had there? It had been clear all day.

When he opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of red eyes looking at him and startling him into dropping his phone.

"Gilbert?" he asked in a slight panic, "what are you doing?"

"Wondering what you're doing out here almost asleep," came the snickered reply from the boy in front of him. Gilbert was in the same year as him and was also one of his cousin Francis's friends. Matthew blushed, only able to watch as the other bent to pick up his phone and hand it back, but not before looking at the screen. "You listen to this band, too?"

Matthew could hear his own heart pound a bit faster. "Yeah, the music is a nice tone to it…"

"Hm…" Gilbert stroked at an imaginary beard, "it is an awesome band."

He didn't always talk to Gilbert, mainly because they were in mostly different classes and had a different set of friends. Sometimes it was just awkward to talk to him, like now when he wasn't expecting it at all. Still, when they did talk it was amazing at how much attention Gilbert paid to him despite not having much in common.

"Anyways, enough about that! I noticed you here and was going to ask if you wanted to go get coffee." Gilbert said loudly, pointing at him. "Antonio's MIA and Francis has a class at this time, so I thought it'd be good to grab lunch with you."

Confused, Matthew sputtered out "Actually, Antonio's eating lunch with Lovino. I'm sure there's other people you can eat with…"

"Naw, I'm asking you, Mattie."

"Mattie?"

Gilbert smiled, and held up a peace sign. "It fits you, doesn't it? Plus it's cute." Matthew sighed, letting him call him that. Gilbert was oddly fascinated by cute things though he didn't know or understand why. "So, how about it? There's this quiet little café just off of campus that makes the greatest donuts and other yummy pastries!"

"Okay…" he answered hesitantly. Matthew grabbed his book bag and stood up, glancing at Gilbert as he did so. "Which way?"

"Awesome! It's down this way. We just have to pass the dorms and once we get to the light we just have to cross the street and turn left." Gilbert grabbed his wrist and started walking quickly, making him stumble and have to play catch up. He laughed, before letting go and turned towards Matthew. "Why don't we race?"

Already slightly panting, Matthew stopped and shook his head. "No way, I don't even know where this place really is!" He watched as Gilbert tried to go through with the race before he stumbled on a root and barely caught himself making Matthew laugh. "See?"

"That didn't happen," he replied waiting for Matthew to catch up. He just smiled a little, and nudged Gilbert to lead the way to the café.

Gilbert hadn't been lying when he said the café was just off campus. It was a little place nestled between a bank and an antique shop, just about a block off of the main road to campus.

"Here we go," he said, holding the door open. Matthew just blinked, blushing a little before hurriedly going inside.

"You didn't have to do that."  
"I was just trying to be polite, you know."

Matthew sighed a little, deciding to look around the café and unconsciously followed Gilbert to the ordering counter. It was very cozy looking, the walls painted a mocha color and all the furniture made of wood with cushioned seats.

"Mattie?"

"What?" He glanced at Gilbert, embarrassed that he hadn't heard the other, lost in taking in the place.

"I'd asked what you wanted." He gave a sly smile, effectively making Matthew blush a bit. He quickly looked up at the menu looking at what they had to offer before picking one of the simple orders under the 'favorites' list.

"A mocha latte and donut…" Was the quiet answer, a glance cast to the mocha colored tiles under them.

"Make that a maple bar instead of the donut. He hasn't tried them from here before!" Gilbert said, adjusting his order. Matthew just stared at him, wondering if he really wanted him to try them that badly.

"Right. That'll be a mocha latte, a vanilla latte, and two maple bars." Matthew's gaze snapped back up to see a middle aged women standing behind the counter. She had graying hair and wore a plaid cooking apron over what seemed to be a sky blue dress; she looked like she should have been in a book. "It'll be right out, Gilbert." She said warmly and retreated to making the coffees a ways away from the counter.

Gilbert led them to a small table and they sat down sitting opposite of each other. "How does she know your name?"

Gilbert laughed, leaning over to ruffle his hair. "I always come here! I'm like one of those preferred customers." Matthew ducked down, fixing his hair and taking a moment to let his cheeks stop being red. He was about to respond when the lady from the counter came over bearing two cream mugs filled with steaming liquid in one hand, and the two maple bars in the other, both on their own plates.

"Now, who's this Gilbert? Boyfriend?" She asked.

Blushing a bit and laughing, Gilbert answered a little subdued, "he's just a friend, Pam. This is Matthew."

"Well, if you say so. Enjoy the coffee boys."

After she went back to the counter, both of them stayed a bit quiet. Gilbert coughed, making Matthew look up quickly. "She's kind, but you shouldn't think too much of what she says." Matthew just nodded, understanding what he meant.

Trying not to meet Gilbert's eyes, he tentatively sipped at the coffee, it had a creamy and delicious taste he was certain he hadn't tasted in another drink. He smiled and took another sip of the warm liquid. "So do you like it?" Matthew looked up at Gilbert studying him with a playful smirk on his face. He just nodded again. Gilbert laughed and picked up one of the maple bars, tearing off a piece. "Now, you have to try this maple bar! It's the best I've ever had!"

Gilbert held out his hand. Matthew was about to reach forward and grab it, but he held it out of reach. "Nu-uh." He laughed waggling a finger. Shooting him a confused look, the Canadian moved his hand back.

"You just told me to try it, though?"

"I'm going to feed it to you!" He said like it was obvious that he was going to do so.

"…eh?"

"Come on! I don't bite." Matthew made a small noise and wrinkled his face. "Unless you want me to that is…"

"Gilbert!"

He laughed slightly at the other's face. "Fine, fine. It was only a joke, ya' know…" He popped the piece of donut into his mouth, chewing a bit before motioning towards Matthew. "Go on, try it!"

"I will, I will." Gilbert smiled and placed his chin in his hand. Matthew grabbed his own maple bar and lifted it up to take a bite out of it. The maple bar was delicious, its texture almost close to butter in his mouth.

"So, is it not the greatest maple bar ever?"

He mumbled incoherently for a bit, still chewing on a bite of donut before swallowing to answer. "It is, how did you find this place?"

"I knew you'd like this place!" Gilbert smiled, taking a long sip of his own coffee. "I found it by coincidence. I was just roaming around, looking for a music store when I first got here and ran into this place. I was kind of thirsty so I decided to drop in and I just fell in love the place." Gilbert stopped, almost as if he had remembered something. "Wait, earlier you said Antonio was with Lovino?"

Matthew nodded, "he came to our dorm and asked Lovino then."

"Damn, he's still after that Italian?"

"Huh, what do you mean?"

Gilbert sighed, "You do know how long they've known each other, right?"

"Since last year? Isn't that when everyone met each other."  
"Most of us, yes. And some of us, kind of knew the others, family and that sort of thing. But Antonio and Lovino knew each other from childhood. Like, little, little kids."

Matthew just stared at him. Had they really known each other that long? "So they're childhood friends?"

"Yup."

That was something Matthew didn't know. But now that he did, he felt like he had to do something about it. "Hey, Gilbert?"

"Hm?" He was taking a sip, but quickly set down the cup.

"What if we sort of… pushed them together? Just helped a little to start dating?"

"Antonio with Lovino?"

Matthew nodded, it seemed like they both liked each other. And it would probably make Lovino feel happy.

"Count me in, I'd love to help a friend. But wouldn't it be better focus on your own love life?"

Blushing, Matthew shook his head, "No! I don't even have someone I like that way!"

"Really…" Gilbert studied his face, but seemed okay with the answer and sighed, "Okay, but we'll have to plan this…"


	3. October 2nd

With a flick of his wrist, Matthew quickly dimmed the lights, focusing a few spotlights on center stage. On the stage, curtains opened revealing Francis standing alone and Lovino entering from stage left. The set was simple at the moment- a Victorian styled peach couch with dark mahogany tables and bookcases.

_"Page 12. All actors ready for cues, Matthew-san."_ Matthew heard through the headset placed on his head.

"Thank you, Kiku, and no need to add the '-san'." He answered pressing a button that controlled volume on the side of his headset. He sighed quietly and turned on a few of the yellow lights, playing around with them until he had the lighting effect he wanted. He set up the queue and sat up to watch the actual scene play out. There weren't that many queues and they were almost through act two, giving a lot a free time to just sit there and think, or watch whatever was happening.

"Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato?" The words floated up easily from the stage. Both Francis and Lovino had good projection and enunciation in his opinion. Matthew watched as Lovino, looked off awestruck as Francis made a scowl.

"I noted her not; but I looked on her" Francis replied in a slow, confident tone.

"Is she not a modest young lady?" Lovino looked in love, either acting or not, it wasn't noticeable that he was faking. He was one of the better actors, no one could really tell if he put on a front or not.

"Do you question me as an honest man should do," Francis had carefully kept his face blank. Matthew nodded to himself, the play was going well.

Matthew cast his eyes over to the side. Feliciano was working on Gilbert's costume, fixing a sleeve or something. He couldn't hear their talking, but he saw them laugh and Gilbert looked up at him. Their eyes met briefly and a smile was shot up. One second there, the next gone, and leaving a blushing Matthew confused if he'd actually seen it. It could have just been from the plans they made to get Lovino and Antonio together.

" _Kiku, call everyone to break will you? And Matthew, the lights look great. Is the queue up?_ " Arthur's voice sounded out against his ear making him jump in his seat, hand close to turning on the house lights.

" _Hai, Arthur-san._ "

"The queue is set, Arthur."

" _Good, good. Then come down from the booth and take your break with the rest of the members._ "

"Okay…" Matthew took off his headset and set it down to one side. He berated himself quietly; couldn't he pay more attention instead of spacing off? Carefully turning off the stage lights, he left the houselights on as a guide for the other cast members making their way around to get snacks and chat. Slowly, he made his way down the carpeted stair, running one hand along the smooth, cool metal banister and the other against the slightly rough fabric-covered wall.

He liked to lose himself in the booth; it was just as peaceful as the small rose garden, with the addition of a comforting buzz of technology and fans that cooled down the lights on the catwalk. There had even been times, during the last play, where Lovino had had to yank him down from the light booth with the notion of 'the fucking auditorium is being locked up, idiot.' and 'I won't come to help you, if you get stuck there.'

"L-Lovi, wait!"

"Let me the fuck go, Feliciano!"

The sounds of loud arguing made their way to him as Matthew pushed the door open that connected the light booth's stairs to the auditorium. This wasn't too unusual: it had happened the year before too, during the school's performance of  _Oedipus Rex._ He sighed quietly to himself as he shut the door behind him seeing the sight in front of him.

Feliciano was holding back his brother who was, in turn, trying to lunge at Ludwig. If Matthew hadn't known that Lovino had never liked Ludwig, he would have been worried about whoever had angered him. …Although he already was…

"Er…" Ludwig looked uncomfortable, just standing next to one the plush theater seats. Matthew sighed, watching for a bit, before he decided to step in.

"B-but brother! Please don't hurt him!" Lovino growled, yanking his arm from Feliciano's grasp.

"Why the hell not?"

"…Uh…"

"See? You don't even have a reason!"

Matthew laughed slightly before trying to get Lovino to stop. "One, you wouldn't be able to be in the play. They would give your part to someone else. And two, for your brother, don't beat Ludwig up?" Lovino glared at him before crossing his arms. A huff sounded out from his lips, his brother smiling at the halted fight.

"Thank you…"

"That's Matthew, dammit…" Lovino said walking over to stand next to said person.

"Si! Thank you Matthew!"

"Right, thank you for helping Matthew…" Ludwig coughed into a fist, motioning to Feliciano. "Well, we should… get to the vending machines before break is over."

"Will they have those yummy cookies you bought the other day?"

"We'll check alright?" With those last words they both left, Feliciano rambling on about the cookies and how it would be great to eat them again.

"Tch, stupid potato, stupid brother…" Matthew turned towards Lovino laughing lightly again.

"Can't you just leave them be?"

"No, I can't. Not after what he fucking did before." Lovino scowled, sitting on the edge of one of the chairs.

Matthew sighed plopping himself into the seat in front. His eyes drifted around the auditorium, everyone was in little groups socializing in the twenty minute break they had. He caught sight of Gilbert talking animatedly while Francis and Antonio listened intently. He would have kept his gaze moving but he caught both Gilbert and Antonio shooting glances their way.

"Oi, you listening?"

"What? Oh, sorry." Matthew smiled in apology. "I was spacing…"

Lovino glanced past his shoulder snorting. "What? Looking at Gilbert?"

"Shh! D-Don't say that out loud!" Matthew flushed a light pink. "And no, I wasn't!"

"Hm? Didn't you like going to the café with him?" Lovino smirked at him leaning back comfortably in his seat. Matthew stared at him questioningly, how had Lovino found out…? "Antonio told me right when the potato's brother texted him."

"You… knew?" Wide blue eyes were set on Lovino who just sighed briefly.

"Not like I wanted to fucking know, he thought I'd want an update on the irrelevant. Stupid idiot."

A soft punch made contact with Lovino's shoulder. "You could have told me you knew!"

Lovino laughed, a short bursting laugh. "And miss your reaction? No fucking way."

Matthew rolled his eyes at his friend. He tried to will away any embarrassment he had felt. "I don't like him."

"I never said that."

Matthew grew quiet, pondering his thoughts and how he could retaliate in any way possible without him ending up on the short side of the stick. "I won't end up winning this, will I…?"

"Nope." Lovino smirked popping the 'P' sound on the word. His eyes flashed towards his watch before looking back up at Matthew. "Giving up?"

"Oh, okay." He took a big breath resting his chin in the palm of his right hand. "…I'm not sure  _what_  to think of Gilbert."

"So, you do like him?'

Matthew stared at Lovino, shaking his head silently. "No, not really. I mean, he's nice, but I don't really see him that way." His thoughts ran past his mind at lightning speeds. Did he like Gilbert? They'd known each other for a while, last year to be correct, and they were moderately close… but he hadn't had much time just with Gilbert to say he did like him. It was nothing new, the impromptu meeting of the day before hadn't really managed to resurface the emotions, if any, that the young blonde might have had.

"…You sound really convincing, but I feel that like's not the complete truth."

"I already said I don't!"

"Then why are you blushing and defending yourself?"

"You do that when it's about Ant-!"

"Shut up, dammit! I don't fucking-!"

"See!"

"Damn you, Matthew…" Matthew gave him a quick smile.

"Doesn't that mean you like him though?" Lovino grew red, redder than Matthew had been.

"No, it fucking doesn't. Antonio and I are only friends," Lovino huffed out. "And don't turn the conversation away from yourself, dammit!"

"I thought you wouldn't notice if I did…"

"Tch, you did an awful job trying to cover it up." Lovino glanced at his watch, sighing at the amount of time they had left most likely. Matthew watched him, it wasn't hard to notice the glances he shot to one side as discreetly as he could. "Oi, are you almost done with lighting?"

"No…" Matthew stood up adjusting his sweater. "And now you changed the subject." He smiled starting to head back up into the light booth. "If anyone asks-"

"You're up in the damn light booth, I know. When the hell aren't you up there?"

Matthew stuck his tongue out. "I'm in charge of lights, aren't I?" He walked back, taking care to make sure to see if could catch any interaction between Lovino and Antonio. Unfortunately, he didn't see any, but walked right into Arthur.

"Matthew, watch where you're going." Arthur said, patting his back.

"Oh, sorry. I was watching everyone onstage…"

"That's fine. By the way, how close are you to being done with the queue?"

"For act one, just the next scene. For act two, well… all of them." Matthew said, taking account of what still needed to be done.

"Good, we're on track. Oh, and I have a favor to ask." Arthur, noted something on his clipboard before talking again. "Could you help Kiku with things backstage? He needs someone to help him with props."

"Oh, during the show or when?"

"Just before the show, during intermission, and after."

"I can help, no worries."

"Thank you, Matthew. I'll notify Kiku later. You can head back up to the booth."

Matthew nodded and rushed back upstairs to get the lights set up for the next scene. Helping Kiku wasn't a problem, but that would mean he'd be a bit busier during this time. Not that he minded being busy, it was nice sometimes. It helped clear his mind.


	4. October 9th

"…need pesticides and fertilizer. Who can name the other two substances that farmers need to increase yields?"

Few in the class raised their hands, some deciding not to, others not remembering the class's earlier lesson. The teacher, Mr. Compton, searched the class for someone to answer. "Yes, Mei?"

"Higher yield seeds and machinery."

"Correct. Now, on that topic, L-D-Cs generally get all of their supplies from M-D-Cs…" Matthew sighed, scribbling away at his notebook. He had already read the chapter  _and_  done the homework working alongside Lovino in their free time. He glanced up looking around bored; maybe something would happen that way.

Lovino sat across the room absently tapping his pencil against a notebook. Next to him sat Alfred, glancing between Mr. Compton and someone at the back of the room. He didn't pay it too much attention, focus already drifting towards other thoughts. He probably already knew Alfred was looking at it. His brother wasn't one to hide his intentions, no matter how ridiculous or not. That was one of the only classes he shared with both his brother and one of his brother's friends, if you could call him that. From what Matthew had seen, Arthur Kirkland thought of Alfred as an annoyance. He wondered sometimes how his brother had managed to become close to Arthur… It didn't make sense, not in the least.

Okay, Alfred didn't even bother hiding the fact that he had a crush on Arthur, it was painfully obvious. The Brit didn't seem to notice, though. Lost in his thoughts, Matthew didn't even notice when the bell rang and students began shuffling around to gather their stuff together until his brother landed a slap on his back.

"Hey, Matt, aren't ya' coming to lunch?" Alfred smiled tossing a glance over his shoulder as he watched Arthur leave to the class. "Come on! I'm getting hungry!"

"When the hell aren't you? You even eat while we're backstage during rehearsal," Lovino had come out of nowhere, arms crossed over the strap of his satchel, "which you know isn't allowed, bastard."

Alfred flashed a smile towards Lovino before motioning out the door. "I know, Mr. Abides-by-the-Rules! You know, you can always go ahead, I don't think Antonio would like you being late again." Lovino flushed brightly and scowled, making to slap at Alfred's arm.

"Fuck you; I don't care if Antonio cares." Matthew rolled his eyes, starting to tuck away his things into his book bag. Lovino was bluffing, of course. If anything, Lovino was trying to play it off as if they weren't close. "He can wait the rest of his life there if the idiot wants to."

Matthew had to stifle a short laugh at Lovino's word choice. They already knew that Antonio  _would_  wait forever for the irate Italian, he had stated those exact words out loud during lunch once, or twice… or most always. No, it  _was_  most always that he proclaimed it to the other. Shaking away his thoughts, Matthew stood up and gestured for his brother and friend to start walking towards the dining hall with him. Thankfully though, it wouldn't take long to get there since it was only a short walk out of the building and into the next one over. Although that was only due to their schedules, which fluctuated between classes like a college would. Some days, it would take longer, forcing them to run most of the way so they didn't have to wait in one of the extremely long lines for food.

They joked a bit on the way there, although at some points it was more like Lovino chastising Alfred.

Silently, he looked around, hoping to catch at least a measly glimpse at white hair. Gilbert had said that he would put a plan into motion today. One that involved Antonio being late for lunch instead of Lovino and possibly giving Antonio the courage to finally say something to Lovino later on. Of course, neither of them knew if this plan would work, but he wanted to believe that Gilbert's plan was foolproof. Especially since according to him, Antonio was looking for a time to actually confess to Lovino.

As soon as they got to the cafeteria, Alfred pulled Lovino into line before Matthew could notice. One second they were next to him and the next, they were already in line. He sighed, shaking his head at his brother's antics. Having already bought a sandwich during breakfast time, Matthew decided to head straight to the table where they sat at on a regular basis. He also had to check if Gilbert was there already or if he was stalling Antonio. He hadn't exactly given Matthew much information on how he was planning to make Antonio late.

Getting to the table, he saw Gilbert talking casually with Francis. But no Antonio in sight. He sat down across from them, letting his book bag slip off of his shoulder and onto the ground next to his seat. Looking to make sure that Lovino wasn't anywhere near done buying his lunch, he asked Gilbert about how he was going about the plan.

"Easy, Mattie. I told Antonio I wanted to help. So, we agreed that he would surprise Lovino by buying his lunch and then ask him to eat together, just the two of them." Gilbert smiled, mouth stretching wide. "Isn't that the most simple and awesome plan ever?" Matthew shook his head, it definitely couldn't be that easy to get them together.

"Are you sure that's going to work?"

"Wait, are you two trying to set them up?" Francis asked, looking at the two of them suspiciously. Matthew nodded at his cousin. "I feel like that won't end up well for the two of you, knowing how Lovino is and all."

"I just want to help them. I don't exactly know how much Lovino likes him, but I know enough to say that he might have a crush on him at least." Matthew tilted his head, thinking back to how many times Lovino would randomly bring up Antonio in conversations or would act embarrassed around the Spaniard. "It's not much trouble."

"And Francis, you know how much Antonio is in love with that kid." Gilbert added. "Like I said, all I did was encourage him to finally confess using Mattie's name as a booster! Antonio would believe it since Mattie shares a dorm with Lovino."

Francis sighed, placing a hand on his head. "You do not need to force these things. Love is love. If they like each other, they'll eventually confess to each other. Plus, since you're unsure of Lovino's standing, you might have just sent Antonio on a mission to break his heart."

Matthew sighed. Francis had a point. Lovino hadn't asked for help, but he felt like it was something that would make him happy. If something went wrong, he could just talk with Lovino to get it fixed. He liked helping others, so he had no qualms with doing so. "I don't think that's going to happen…"

"Matthew, you might be trying to help too many people. I know you're trying to help your brother get his crush as well. Are you not trying to get someone for yourself?" Francis asked, picking up his coffee to drink from it. Matthew paled a little. What was with people asking him about his love life? It was kind of embarrassing. And while Francis had a point, he wasn't helping  _too_  many people… just his brother and Lovino…

"I don't like anyone that way, Francis," he replied, blushing and looking down at his food. He wasn't exactly lying about that either. Well, even if he was he'd be putting it off anyways. Francis gave him a weird look, tilting his head in thought.

* * *

Still blushing slightly from the unexpectedness of Antonio coming up behind him, Lovino kept his head lowered a bit. He could still see Antonio's legs, allowing him to be able to follow the other without bumping into anyone.

He didn't need Antonio to pay for his food, though he had done so before Lovino could do anything about it. Still, when Antonio asked him to eat with him (plus Alfred pushing him to do it) he agreed. He just hoped no one tried to start gossiping about them,  _again_. They were friends, nothing beyond that.

"Lovi?" Blinking, he looked up at Antonio, a confused expression on his face. "I asked where you wanted to sit down." Lovino looked around, glancing at the open tables, before nodding towards the last table near the door that lead to the dining hall's patio. It was near windows, as well as being one of the tables that was more private.

"Over there," he headed straight for it, not bothering to check if Antonio was behind him or not. Once he had sat down and set his tray in its place, he looked up to catch Antonio's attention. "Okay, so why exactly did you decide to today to eat with me if it's one of the only days everyone can eat together?"

Antonio just smiled, laughing a little as he sat down across from him. "No reason, I just- ah, felt like it?"

"I don't believe that."

"I really did just feel like eating with you today!" Antonio exclaimed, leaning forward onto the table, "is that so bad? We grew up together, I shouldn't really need an excuse to." Lovino just huffed a little, picking up a fork to start eating the small salad he had gotten with his entrée.

Although he had known Antonio since he was little, it was a little weirder for them to spend time together. Maybe it was just that that they grew into different hobbies and different friends. But Lovino was sure that it was something else that was making things a little weird. And their friends joking about them dating or liking each other didn't really help.

Maybe that was because Lovino felt like he did like Antonio in a romantic way. Maybe it was the fact that Antonio had been by his side the longest and was grateful for that. But he  _did_  like the other… though he wouldn't exactly tell anyone that. Lovino was pretty sure that Antonio only liked him as a friend. Which was why he never acted on it, nothing would come from it.

"You couldn't have asked a girl to eat with you? There's a whole bunch that would love to date you."

"I guess so, huh?" Antonio chuckled, rubbing at the back of his head. "But, I asked you for a reason, Lovi."

Lovino blushed lightly, feeling like someone had upturned cold water on his stomach. "I thought you agreed to not call me that anymore. It's childish and yet you keep calling me that."

"I don't remember agreeing to that."

Huffing out, Lovino just went back to eating knowing that he wouldn't be able to get Antonio to stop with the nickname or get a straight answer out of him. That was just useless since the other had apparently never even tried to stop using the nickname he had come up with when they were five. Of course, his brother still used it (having learned it  _from_  Antonio), but that was his brother. Aka: a family member, a person Antonio was not. It was kind of weird now that they were in high school, almost seventeen years old.

In front of him, Antonio had started eating too. Glancing up, he caught the smidge of a frown on his face. Antonio frowning? That couldn't be possible. What would he even have to frown about?

"Anton—"

"Lovino." They blinked at each other, stopping awkwardly to let the other finish. "Ah… you can go first."

Lovino shook his head, motioning for Antonio to go, "it was nothing important." He set down his fork, giving the other his full attention. "What were you going to say?"

"Well," Antonio started, looking uneasy. Was it just a weird day and something had happened to make Antonio act like this? Lovino furrowed his eyebrows, looking at him with a confused expression. What on earth could Antonio feel uncomfortable with when they had been friends since they were toddlers? Making a confused face, Lovino motioned for the other to continue. "Lovino…"

Why did Antonio sound like he was regretting something?


	5. October 20th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the brief hiatus, my laptop needs to be repaired so I don't exactly have a copy of my writing files. Luckily, this chapter was saved online before that happened. And because it's finals time, I will be taking another short hiatus. Probably another two week one, so until then I hope you enjoy this chapter!

"Lovino, you need to talk with him."

"No."

Matthew sighed, falling backwards onto his bed and skewing his glasses. He had tried to get Lovino to at least message Antonio,  _at least_. Lovino wouldn't even turn towards the Spaniard when they were in the same room. It was almost as if in Lovino's world, Antonio didn't exist anymore. "Lovino!"

"Talk with who? I don't need to talk to anyone right now."

Matthew gaped at Lovino's form on the other bed. "Are you serious? You're going to just not talk to Antonio anymore after you've been friends since you guys were toddlers?"

Lovino sat up from his spot and threw a half-hearted glare at his friend. "How the fuck do you know that? Almost no one here should know that. We've told no one."

Suddenly feeling a bit shy, Matthew rolled over, averting his eyes to the side. "Um, Gilbert did. You know how Antonio met Gilbert through Francis…" Lovino scoffed, muttering under his breath. Matthew blinked slowly, hoping to get some sense knocked into the Italian. He really only knew Antonio's side of the story, which was very short. Being close to Lovino, he wanted to get the other side so that he could help however he could once he had that information. But so far that wasn't happening. Lovino really was stubborn when he wanted to be. "Okay, then just tell me what happened. Antonio was upset when he got back to our table and only said a little before he completely shut all of us out."

He heard another scoff from Lovino, this time with a bit more force behind it, "great, both you and my brother want to know."

"I'm not your brother though! I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything!" he quickly exclaimed. "You know I wouldn't just go out and share that with the world. You've told about stuff that's bothering you before…"

If there was anyone that Lovino could trust in without having to worry about information leaking, it was Matthew. They were each other's confidents, one of the reasons they got along so well.

A quiet fell upon the room, leaving both of them in a cocoon of just their thoughts. After a few minutes, Lovino finally broke the silence with a loud exhale. "Okay, fine. I'll tell you what happened."

Matthew smiled, sitting up and urging Lovino to start when he wanted to.

" 'ton-…  _An-_ tonio tried to play with me," the Italian started off, "maybe he thought it'd make a fan-fucking-tastic joke to pull. I bet it was either of those other two losers' idea…" Lovino paused, laughing a bit bitterly although to Matthew it just sounded sad instead of bitter. "The bastard told me that he 'likes me more than others.' Goddammit, I'm so sure that he only said that to make fun of me! He must have figured out that I don't know, maybe that I just  _might_  like him more than just platonically? That maybe I was hoping that he fucking liked me back? That for once, I wouldn't just be shoved off to the side when I liked someone I thought I had a chance with? And to top it off, he decided it was okay to  _fucking kiss me_  and then say 'sorry, I wasn't thinking, it was a mistake.' Fucking hell, he doesn't think at all!"

Staring at Lovino on the verge of a fit, Matthew didn't know what to do. He had just learned that Lovino was in fact in love with the Spaniard and that said Spaniard had tried confessing and failed miserably despite knowing how Lovino would react. "Maybe this was all a misunderstanding…" he tried, being as careful as he could with the topic, "if you talk with Antonio you might be able to-

"I. Don't. Need. To. Talk. To. Him." Lovino gritted out. "He can disappear off the face of the planet for all I fucking care. He means nothing to me."

"But Lovino…"

"No. Antonio is no one to me."

Lovino stood up, grabbing his jacket, phone, and keys before heading to the door and leaving Matthew alone in the room.

Matthew was so sure that Antonio hadn't meant to hurt Lovino. He had seem so sad when he relayed what happened to the group. Francis sharing a look of sympathy with him, before focusing on making Antonio feel better.

They had all seen Lovino storm his way out of the dining hall a few moments before Antonio had appeared, shoulders slumped and an air of despair around him. For a few minutes nothing had been said until Antonio shook his head and mumbled a very soft "he hates me."

Antonio's version had been that he was so nervous, he stumbled over his words and probably made it sound horrible. His story made Matthew want to fix what had happened, mainly because Antonio wouldn't have confessed if it weren't for Gilbert and him trying to push them together in the first place… and since it was his fault, he would have to be the one to fix it.

Even if they only got back on tolerable terms, Matthew would feel better. Thinking about it, he glanced at his phone wondering if Gilbert had any ideas that weren't as drastic. (Although the last plan hadn't sounded too drastic.)

Actually, it might just be better to go with a plan that he came up with and only let Gilbert help him execute it. Yeah, that would definitely go better and a lot smoother.

* * *

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You want me to help you isolate Lovino with Antonio so that Antonio can talk to him easily?"

"Yes. It's not too hard, we should be able to do it, especially with the play still being worked on." Matthew smiled a little, picking up his mug to take a big sip. He could feel the way the liquid warmed up his insides as it made its way down his throat. Yes, he now loved the coffee and pastries from this little shop. He was also glad the coffee shop wasn't as crowded as the one on campus and really glad that Gilbert had shared the little gem with him. It was nice to actually hear himself think while enjoying a wonderfully crafted warm beverage. "You know they both need to go back to at least being able to speak to each other, even if they aren't so close anymore."  
"Lovino's out for blood." Gilbert looked at him with a bored expression, almost as if saying 'this is  _Lovino_  we're talking about'… which wasn't wrong. Matthew sighed, gathering his thoughts so that his argument sounded way more compelling.

"Even if he was, which he's not, I want him to at least be happy. You can feel that both of them are already missing a piece of themselves, can't you? There was something that only Antonio could bring out in Lovino, something that even I can't coax out of him. And of course there was something that only Lovino could help Antonio with."

Gilbert sighed, allowing himself to chew on a rather big chunk of donut before speaking. "I guess that's true. But, there's not much we can do about Lovino not wanting to talk at all about what happened. Not even sticking them in a locked closet would be able to get Lovino to talk."

"Well, if it comes down to that then so be it."

Staring at him, Gilbert almost drop the last piece of his donut on the ground. "Dude, Mattie. That's not your plan is it?"

"No," Matthew said, not meeting Gilbert's eyes for a few moments, "but, like I said, if nothing else works… then we're just going to have to lock them in somewhere and not let them leave until they talk it out."

They sat silently together for a while, Gilbert just watching Matthew while he thought. The shop had just the right about of background noise to it that it wasn't completely silent, but was still quiet enough to facilitate brainstorming. It also kind of helped that the air wasn't cold, but was a warm and welcoming temperature. It was a nice contrast to the chill that constant outside now. Matthew loved autumn, but it was nice to be warm when it was possible.

"Hey, Mattie?"

"Hm?"

"Are you sure that you don't like anyone?" Gilbert glanced at Matthew quickly before redirecting his eyes towards the mug in front of him. "I know you said so last month… but things can change. They can change in a month, or in a day. Sometimes they change in an instant."

Matthew gasped silently. He had been caught by surprise, not really expecting such a thing from Gilbert of all people. And he didn't know what the other was trying to imply. All he knew was that he was suddenly caught by the other's red gaze, not knowing how to answer.

"I… I guess some things do change really quickly," he replied slowly, unsure of his words. Had his heart always beat this fast while holding someone's gaze? "Maybe I do like someone and I haven't realized it, maybe I don't. I haven't thought about that… I… feel like it's not too… important?"

"How? Everyone, literally everyone seems like they have someone they like! Even I like someone."

Blinking, Matthew looked down suddenly finding interest the smooth grains of the table. Not sure why his chest was suddenly feeling so heavy. "Really? Then why aren't you trying to get them to like you back?"

"I don't know. I feel like I'm trying, but my message isn't exactly getting across to them." Matthew chanced a glance up and found Gilbert looking at him before the other inhaled deeply through his nostrils and turned to the window. "And, when they do see me, they're too busy trying to figure something else out."

"Do you want me to help you? It's not really a problem for me to!"

Gilbert shook his head, smiling just a bit. But it only managed to get Matthew confused about what was going on. "It probably wouldn't do much if you helped. Plus, you're already helping people who didn't even ask for it."

"But Alfred is my brother."

"Lovino isn't. Neither is Antonio."

"But…"

"They're not related to you, they're just friends of yours."

* * *

Antonio had tried almost everything to get Lovino to hear him out. Not that any of them had really worked… Lovino was really trying to avoid him at all costs. All of their friends didn't even know what to do during lunch time. He would still sit next to Lovino, but Lovino wouldn't even look towards him or acknowledge that he was there. Sometimes it even seemed like Lovino would look right through Antonio, not even paying attention to the fact that Antonio was in front of where he was looking.

It felt as if someone was slowly chipping away at his heart, leaving a spot that would surely cave in on itself very soon. He had put so much confidence into what Gilbert had told him, hoping that what Matthew had said about Lovino was true… but apparently it wasn't.

Lovino really did think lowly of him even though they had been together for so long and had gone through so much with each other? Antonio couldn't believe that he had lost his best friend so easily and to something like  _that_. He couldn't wrap his mind around that. It was just impossible to think that so many years of friendship had crumbled in the span of just five minutes. And his fault too…

God, he was so stupid to actually think that Lovino might have had feelings for him…

Sighing out loudly, Antonio stretched back fully in his chair, catching a glimpse of the world upside-down before shutting his eyes. He didn't want to anything except just lay around until he felt completely better. If only "broken heart" was an actual excuse to not have to do anything.

He heard a loud groan, followed by the squeak that he knew was made by the hinges of Gilbert's desk chair whenever the thing was spun. He knew what was coming next, but he really wasn't in the mood for hearing another lecture on how he should just give up on Lovino and move on with his life. How in the world was he supposed to just up and forget about such a long friendship? They had been third graders when they had met for crying out loud!

"Tonio, this getting ridiculous. You're moping around twenty-four seven!"

"Gil?"

"Yes?"

"If," Antonio started, slowly opening his eyes to look at him, "the person you liked rejected you like that, wouldn't you feel awful?" He watched Gilbert until he felt blood rush to his head and instead laid his head down on his desk. "The only person I've ever liked this much is Lovino. What else am I supposed to do?"

Gilbert moaned again, probably fed up with him. He could hear him getting closer before all sounds ceased and the edge of his feet found their way into Antonio's line of sight. "Maybe you could, I don't know, keep trying? Maybe talk to someone like Franny?" He felt something tap the top of his head, making him look up, still keeping his head mainly on the desk's edge. "Actually, better idea. Talk it out with Lovino even if you're the only one talking."

"What? No!" Antonio suddenly jumped up in his seat, twisting his chair so that he was perfectly facing Gilbert. "I've tried, I really have! Lovino just- Lovino just won't listen at all… and I can't blame him for it. Why in the world would someone like him, be interested in me? I'm just a bumpkin, a  _country_  bumpkin."

"Antonio, your family is rich. So they own a farm and you're more accustomed to the outsides, that doesn't mean you're a bumpkin."  
"Doesn't it? Lovino would much rather have someone who dresses all fancy and would know the difference between different wines and the cheeses they go with."

Gilbert sighed, making Antonio feel like maybe he was blowing things out of proportions just a bit, but it didn't matter. Lovino wasn't interested in him anyways! There was nothing else that Antonio could do to try to fix things or even have them go back to the way that they were. Even before he had decided to tell Lovino, he knew that it would change their relationship, though he had hoped that it would have been for the better.

"Look. You really don't know what you're saying, dude. But, I do know that Mattie and I can help you, even if it's just a little. You just have to trust us on this, Tonio. You dress nicely enough to have Lovino constantly check you out," he stated, crossing his arms. After thinking for a moment, he commented, "and doesn't your family make wine? Dude, get it together."

Antonio chuckled a little. It was true that his family made wine, but he himself didn't. And there was no way ever that Lovino would ever check him out that way. Lovino had always been after the pretty girls with bright eyes and even nicer smiles. Of course he knew that Lovino liked guys (they were - _had been_ \- best friends after all), but even then Lovino had expressed interest in other guys. Not once had he felt that Lovino felt anything remotely close to what Antonio felt for him.


	6. October 29th

There was really no excuse for them having failed so many times within the same week. Matthew felt like maybe their plans were a bit too extravagant to get Lovino talking to Antonio. So far they had tried peace offerings, casual conversations, forcing them to be partners in class, and a simple "Lovino just listen to the guy." Nothing had worked and Lovino was still ignoring Antonio as if his life depended on it.

Currently, they were all sitting in a circle on stage during their break talking about the week. They did it at least once a week to "promote community among them." Their current group didn't really need it since everyone got along really well, but it was still nice to be able to share about their weeks with people who they might not have gotten to talk to. They would take turns talking and commenting on each other's stories and hopefully, they would calmly work out any type of drama that may have occurred.

Which was the plan that Matthew and Gilbert currently had in action. Of course, it would involve Antonio having to tell everyone a little about what was going on, but it wasn't much. And if this didn't work, it was up to Matthew and Gilbert to just shut them somewhere together.

 _And I feel like Lovino wouldn't exactly forgive me for that…_ Matthew sighed, looking at Gilbert for some type of encouragement that their plan wouldn't fail this time. They were sitting next to each other, both keeping an eye on Antonio and Lovino who they had sat opposite of each other in the circle. Somehow, it still made Matthew feel uneasy about this situation.

"Hey, Mattie." He looked up at the feeling of someone jabbing his side lightly. Finding Gilbert watching him curiously. "This is going to work, you know. Everyone has to share something, it's the unspoken rule here."

"I know, but I feel like something's going to wrong…"

"Just don't jinx it. Lovino is going before Antonio and that's what we wanted, right? This way he's not just spacing out while Antonio talks." Matthew nodded, they had talked about that. He didn't look away from the other for quite a bit, even though there was a feeling that made him want to look away.

Maybe it was just himself, but he flushed and looked down. "Let's just see how this goes. Then we can celebrate if they're back on talking terms."

After about twenty minutes, it had only just gotten to Gilbert, there were another three people, one of them being Antonio. And the look on Antonio's face was fully distressed, Lovino hadn't mentioned a thing, his shared story being one about being constantly called on by one of his professors. Antonio also seemed desperate to get any sort of reaction from the Italian, which Matthew thought was sweet even if it wasn't working.

"Let's see, what do I have to share about myself this week… Ah! So, there's actually been someone I've wanted to ask out, but I feel like they have too much going on and they haven't actually looked at me. I mean, they have, but at the same time they haven't." Gilbert suddenly spoke from beside him. The German's words causing an icy feeling to cover him, "does that make sense?"

"Gil, who is it? Is it someone in the group?" Feliciano asked from his spot, "It is, isn't it! It has to be!"

"Uh…" Matthew looked towards him, wondering if he would answer. He wasn't completely sure if he wanted to hear that answer though… and that thought alone scared him more than the actual answer. "I don't really feel like answering that, Feli…"

"Wait, you haven't even told Tonio and me, and we're your two closest friends!" Gilbert looked over nervously to where Francis was sitting, a minute frown on his face. "Who is this little bird who has caught your heart?"

"Oh joy, we really don't need Francis to get philosophical right now of all times," he heard Lovino call out. "Can we just fucking make this move quicker? We can't take longer than forty minutes, you know."

"Like you're one to talk, Mr. Can't-Give-a-Straight-Answer."

"What's the supposed to fucking mean?" Lovino snapped angrily. Eyes going wide, Matthew shot up to sit on his knees.

"Guys," he called, hoping it was loud enough. Thankfully both Lovino and Francis looked towards him. "Stick to the topic please… we still have three more people to go." Lovino huffed out, deflating and crossing his arms causing Matthew to sigh in relief. Francis only nodded before sending a quick glare towards Lovino which was dutifully ignored.

A few more people commented on Gilbert's story, giving him advice and good luck. Matthew just felt slightly sicker with each person adding their own two cents, though he shoved it away if only to show his support for Gilbert. The two people after him (Kiku and Arthur) went without a hitch and it was Antonio's turn to share after only about eight minutes.

It was easy to see that Antonio was nervous, and looked at everyone for a few seconds before settling on a point somewhere in the middle of the circle. "So, uh. I guess most people here know what happened last week? Right?" He received nods from about half the people and a shocked gasp from Feliciano which made Antonio chuckle a bit. "Well, um, those who don't know… I, uh, I tried to tell Lovino something very important, and it didn't go as planned…"

There were a few loud 'oh's' from people around the circle, everyone instantly looking towards Lovino to see his reaction, but Lovino's face was turned towards his lap, bangs covering most of his face.

"He—he won't talk to me, and I don't know what to do…" Antonio glanced around at everyone, looking just so heartbroken. Matthew felt like just hugging him. It was really weird to see the Spaniard that sad and worried. "Lovino… please. Just please talk to me."

Lovino looked up, eyes trying not to fall where Antonio was. His face didn't show much emotions but Matthew could tell that he seemed panicked. His brother and Antonio could probably see that too.

"Lovi, have you not been talking to Antonio at all this past week?" Lovino looked at his younger brother, mouth moving, but no sounds coming out. Maybe this hadn't been the best of their ideas this week…

"That's no one's business," he responded quickly, almost stumbling over his words in his haste to say them. "Why the fuck would you tell everyone about that?"

Matthew was sure that this was the first time all week that Lovino actually looked at Antonio. But, Antonio had his head down, hands together in his lap. After a moment, he turned to look at Gilbert and Matthew, asking for help. As much as Matthew wanted to do something though, there wasn't anything he could really do…

"Lovino, please. We really do need to talk," Antonio pleaded.

Around them everyone was talking lowly. A few people throwing out things like 'just talk to him,' 'date each other already!' and 'lover's spat again?' Lovino's face was turning red while Antonio was nervously chuckling, looking hopefully at everyone except Lovino at the moment.

"Oh come on, everyone knows you two are already practically a couple!" Arthur injected, "Now hurry up, we're done after this and I would like to get back to the dorms before tomorrow."

It was then that Lovino stood up, and jumped off the stage, making his way towards the exit. "Ah, wait! Lovi, you can't leave!" Antonio called out, following him. Matthew stood up to follow, but Gilbert held him back.

"Mattie, leave them. They might be able to sort things out." Glancing at Gilbert, he noticed that the other was watching Antonio and Lovino. Matthew looked towards them to see Antonio grabbing Lovino's arm and speaking quietly. Lovino shook his head, said something back and yanked his arm out of the hold. It looked like he said 'no' and turned, grabbing his backpack and leaving.

Antonio, just stood there, before slowly making his way back and resting his arms on the stage, head down. Matthew frowned, sitting back and turning to Gilbert.

"…I don't know how to help him anymore…" he whispered, silently asking _what now, Gilbert_? Gilbert looked at him pensively before placing his hands on Matthew's shoulders.

"Look, we'll try one more thing. If this doesn't work, you _have_ to give up on helping them. You're way too focused on other people right now. Have you even looked at yourself?"

Matthew blinked, "what? I've been taking care of myself… what do you mean?"

Gilbert made a funny face at that, only succeeding in making Matthew even more confused. "Nothing," he took his hands off of Matthew completely, looking away, "forget I mentioned anything."

"Okay guys, let's pack up and go. We need to be out of the auditorium now."

Still confused, Matthew followed everyone to their backpacks and left. He could still feel a bit warmth from where Gilbert had held onto him. That alone made heat rise on his cheeks.

_**~ooXoo~** _

After quickly saying a goodbye to Gilbert and the others, Matthew rushed back to the dorms, hoping that that was where Lovino had headed off to. Hopefully, he didn't have to go running off to one of Lovino's many hidden places on campus. He really just needed to talk to Lovino for himself. No one had heard what Antonio and Lovino had said to each other, and Antonio wasn't willing to disclose what had been exchanged between them. But, Lovino had to trust in Matthew, right? They were best friends, whatever Lovino couldn't tell Antonio, he would tell Matthew. That's just how it worked.

Rushing to open the door to his dorm, Matthew stumbled when the door opened, his key only halfway into the lock. He glanced at Lovino who only opened the door wider and let him in. Matthew tried to smile, taking his keys and moving to drop off his book bag on his chair before sitting on his bed facing Lovino. He motioned for Lovino to sit across from him, wanting them to just talk for the time being.

"Lovino, are you sure you want to keep pretending that Antonio doesn't exist?" He asked as soon as the Italian had sat down across from him. "He's really trying to communicate with you…"

Lovino frowned, crossing his arms in a pouty manner, "I already said I didn't want anything to do with him."

"But Antonio-"

"I could care less about what Antonio fucking wants. I don't give a damn anymore."

"Can't you at least listen to him for five minutes and then decide that you want nothing to do with anymore? At least grant him some type of closure…"

"Matthew, that bastard doesn't deserve that! He toyed with a serious topic!" Lovino shot to his feet, looking down at him as if he was angry with Matthew.

He didn't know how to respond to that. He couldn't exactly speak for Antonio; that would be helping just a bit too much. The most he could do was urge Lovino to speak with the Spaniard but that wasn't going anywhere.

"Why are you so insistent that I talk to him anyways?"

"I uh…" Did he really want Lovino to know that he and Gilbert were working behind the scenes with Antonio to get them together? "I-"

"Wait. Antonio said he was told to do that by two people…" Lovino said, turning towards their window and pacing a bit, "Are you one of them? Are you trying to _fix_ this?"

Matthew gaped at him, feeling like he was being placed in the middle of the spotlight, which technically, he was. "Lovino, wait. Okay, yes, both Gilbert and I are trying to help Antonio and you out…"

"Help us out?" Lovino laughed, "Matthew, this is between Antonio and I, we don't need help! You should be focusing on your own problems, not on mine, or Antonio's. What about your own love life? We only have the rest of this year and next before everyone goes off to their own universities." Matthew shook his head. He wasn't looking for anyone. There wasn't anyone that he was interested in.

"No one here catches my interest in that way…"

"Not even Gilbert? You have been spending a lot of time with him recently… almost as if you had a crush on him, I would say." Lovino smiled mischievously, suddenly taking on a different pose and clearing his throat. "It's always 'Gilbert this' and 'Gilbert that.' Or it's 'I'm hanging out with Gil.'"

"I've never called him 'Gil'! Not even once!"

"Yes, you have." Matthew stood up, crossing his arms as he walked past Lovino to stand in front of the door.

"There's more important things than a relationship." Lovino scoffed, running a hand through his hair.

"Other people's problems are _not_ more important! Look," Lovino moved to stand right in front of him, "Matthew, it's great that you're selfless. I guess that's a great quality to have, but for fuck's sake be selfish about something for once!" Lovino practically yelled at him, making Matthew clench his fists, "I only confide in you because I trust you, but don't just try to drop your own problems in favor of helping others out!"

"I don't have a problem!"  
"Than what's your relationship with Gilbert? Friends? It sure doesn't look like that to me if Gilbert said he felt like he was being ignored!"

Matthew breathed in sharply, heart starting up because of that. "He wasn't talking about me, Lovino. We're just—"

"Dancing around each other? Sounds about right." Lovino scoffed, "Bird brain was talking about you and you didn't even notice."

"I don't even like him like that, Lovino!"

"So you say." Lovino finally sat down again, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. "I say you're just too focused on other people's problems to notice your own. Be more selfish."

Matthew sighed and fell backwards on his bed, looking up at the ceiling in thought. He thought he was selfish already, but Lovino didn't seem to think so. But there really was no way he had feelings for Gilbert, he would have noticed already! He hung out with Gilbert so often, shouldn't those emotions have already come up to the surface?

_**~ooXoo~** _

"Ah! Matt, look out!"

It only took Matthew a half second to turn and move, watching a heavy, foam spider fall where he had been standing and setting out decorations. He looked up to see Alfred sighing out from the top of a ladder. "How did that even fall?"

Chuckling awkwardly, Alfred rubbed his hands together. "You see… I was hanging it up and it slipped when I was securing it…"

"Alfred, you're supposed to be careful!"

"I know!"

Sighing, Matthew just picked up the spider and handed it back to his brother. Around them, Feliciano was flitting about giving out decoration instructions for their Halloween party. While it was tradition that the theatre club would decorate the school's Halloween party, it wasn't exactly tradition that only a fourth of the club would help. Almost no one had shown up to help. Only backstage hands really coming in earlier than their actor counterparts. He sighed out loud again; his brother was the only actor who had come out to help…

"Hey, something got you down?" Frowning at his brother, Alfred finished hanging the spider before climbing down and standing in front of Matthew. Shaking his head, Matthew shrugged and leaned on the nearby wall that was behind them. His thoughts weren't something he always shared with his brother. Sure, they were inseparable when they were younger, but they were high schoolers now.

"Not really…"

"Is it Gilbert?" Matthew raised an eyebrow, only to watch Alfred do the same. "Oh come on, you've been hanging out with him non-stop. There's got to be something going on there."

Matthew gave him a puzzled expression, crossing his arms as he spoke, "There's nothing going on between us. We've only been talking a lot because we're trying to push Antonio and Lovino together." Alfred laughed.

"Seriously? 'Cuz, I'm pretty sure he was talking about you at last week's session."

"Even you think that? You know it's not true…"

"Wait," Alfred moved to lean on the wall next to his brother, a curious tone in voice, "more people think so?"  
"Yeah, Lovino told me the same thing."

"Dude, then it's true! Gilbert likes you!" His brother turned towards him, smiling widely, "do you like him back?"

"Alfred. I don't."

Matthew looked down at his shoes, taking a lot of interest in his laces. Gilbert was a friend, a friend who did not like him more than a friend should. Everyone was just looking way too far into it.

"If you say so, Matt." Alfred pushed himself off of the wall and stretched. "We should probably go back to decorating. And Matt?"

"Huh?" Matthew had just started leaning down to pick up the box that he had been taking stuff out of. Once he had his grip on it, he turned around giving his brother his attention.

"Take some time for yourself, okay? Think your own feelings over. You're my brother and I know you."

"I know you do, we grew up together."

Alfred rolled his eyes, lightly smacking Matthew on the head, "that's not what I meant and you know it! Just make sure your feelings are your priority. You can't help others fully until you help yourself."

"Okay, okay. I'll try to do so okay?" Matthew smiled at his brother before finally moving towards the next table of things that he had to put up. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see that the others were almost done, which was good since the party would start in another three hours and he really wanted to grab dinner before needing to be back here. And he really did not want to miss out on the mini talent show that would be put on.


	7. November 7th

"Mattie, are you sure that you're okay?"

Roused from his daydream, Matthew shot up into sitting straight up. He blinked a few times before looking over at Gilbert who was sitting next to him with his laptop open to a paused let's play video. He was patiently waiting for an answer, arms crossed and face towards Matthew. They were in the lounge, a cozy little area in front of the main entrance that had couches and a fireplace. Currently, they were both waiting to catch sight of Lovino and Antonio, ready to execute their last plan. One that Matthew had promised Gilbert would be their final try.

Matthew had been staring out the window absentmindedly, thinking through everything on his mind. Mainly what both Lovino and Alfed had told him and trying to sort through his slew of emotions. Shaking his head, he slid down until he was almost eye level with Gilbert again.

"I'm okay, don't worry. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Like?" Gilbert shut his laptop, setting it on the small table next the couch they were sitting on.

"Uh… I-I don't really want to talk about it…"

Gilbert sighed, looking towards the stairs and glancing outside briefly. He seemed to get a determined look in his eyes before looking back towards Matthew and giving him a shy-looking smile. "No pressure, I just wanted to make sure."

Matthew nodded and breathed out in relief. He was about to go back to looking out the window when Gilbert started talking again.

"Actually, Mattie…"

"Huh?" Matthew turned back to look at Gilbert, a questioning look on his face. Gilbert just smiled a little more and lightly grabbed a hold of Matthew's hand. "Gilbert?"

He felt more than confused at the way Gilbert was looking at him, eyes darting between his hand in Gilbert's grasp and the other's face. "I hope that this doesn't seem sudden… but, what exactly do you, huh, think about me?"

Matthew fumbled for words for a bit, eyes focusing on their hands before he actually found his voice to answer. "Well… you're a really nice person, and a good friend… You care more than people think you do and pay way more attention to them than everyone gives you credit for. Even though you act brash and crude, you're really a sweet pers-"

"Wait, I'm not sweet. Where did you get that from?" Gilbert interrupted him, making Matthew blush. His ears even felt hot for crying out loud! What in the world did this guy mean to him? Was Lovino right in pegging it as a romantic feeling instead of a platonic one? Even Alfred who was clueless to this stuff had noticed something. "And anyways that wasn't exactly what I was asking you about…"

Confused, Matthew turned just enough to plop down correctly in the seat. "What do you mean?"

Gilbert smiled a bit before squeezing Matthew's hand. "Do you like me? Like, more than a friend?"

"What?" Gilbert hadn't actually said that had he? Eyes opening wider, he looked away, quickly taking his hand from Gilbert's grasp.

"Too soon?"

Nodding, Matthew blushed harder. Okay, maybe what Lovino had said held some kind of truth to it. This was getting ridiculous and both of them should have been looking out for when Lovino got back. They should be notifying Antonio to come out of his room at just the right time to get the two to run into each other. They should not be talking about whatever they were talking about as if they were going to get together. Matthew didn't even know what exactly he felt. "Can we talk about this at a later time?"

"But, Mattie, I—"

"Gilbert," Matthew looked up at him, making the other freeze for a moment, "please. I don't have an answer. We should focus on Antonio and Lovino."

Gilbert frowned, standing up and walking few steps. "Really? We've been waiting for an hour for them. I thought it'd be a great time to finally clear the air and figure out where I stand with you. Mattie, you seriously haven't noticed anything? You haven't felt anything around me?" Matthew looked down, feeling a pang in his chest that resounded in his jaw. "Have you been so focused on helping those around you that you haven't looked at yourself?"

"Gil..."

They both looked towards the stairs at the sound of someone coming down them. Sighing out, Gilbert glanced at him and spoke very quickly, "Mattie, I really do like you. But, you have to consider your own feelings before those of others."

Matthew tried laughing it off, but it didn't work. He knew that if there were three people telling him the same thing, then he had to reevaluate something.

_**~ooXoo~** _

It was getting even colder now that it was later into the semester. So cold that it had started snowing sometime after his last class had started and ended. Unfortunately for him, Lovino had left behind his thicker winter coat _and_ had to suffer through three of his classes sitting very close to Antonio. That had made his mood drop significantly during the day. He had finally finished for the day and was ready to just collapse on his bed, only leaving it for food if he could. There was no way that he was going to be dragged out for anything after getting back to his dorm.

Letting out a puff of air just to watch his breath form a cloud, he stopped to readjust his backpack before opening the main door to the dormitories. He was really looking forward to being warm and just relaxing. Ignoring Antonio wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. Then again, they had been friends for so long that there were times when they would unconsciously interact with each other and not even notice that they were doing it. Which was bad for him since he never noticed it until he was halfway into doing the actions or notion.

As soon as he was in all the way through the door, he heard something moving towards him way before it got to him but couldn't do much before it already on top of him and shoving him backwards. "Woah, wait! What the fuck is going on?"

"This is for your guys' own good." He heard what he hoped wasn't Gilbert speaking. "If you don't sort this out this way, then I don't know how the fuck you guys will."

"What?"

Oh no. This was not how he was planning the end of his day to be like. This was definitely not what he was expecting.

"Ow, Gil! Why are you me pushing outside?"

…crap. Not Antonio too… Just when he thought he was safe from having to be around him…

It didn't take long for Gilbert and whoever was helping him to push him outside with enough force to stumble down the sidewalk and send powdery snow flying everywhere. As soon as he caught his footing, Lovino turned around to retort. He saw Antonio gaping at him and Matthew standing at the door with Gilbert. "Matthew?"

"I'm sorry, Lovino, but this is the only way we can actually get you guys to talk to each other." Matthew said seriously.

"You two won't actually leave us out here. It's fucking negative two degrees out!" Lovino yelled, pointing at Antonio. "And why in the world is it with _him_ , dammit?"

"You two have some serious talking to do," Gilbert added, "and you've both been avoiding it like the plague." He was about to say otherwise, when Matthew started talking as well.

"And we're not letting you two inside until you settle things completely!" With that they closed the door, making Lovino stare at them not really comprehending what had just happened.

When he realized that Matthew and Gilbert were going to leave him outside with Antonio, he started hitting the door with more force, yelling at the two he knew were just on the other side. "Fuck you guys, let us back in! I'm not staying out here with this bastard!"

Lovino couldn't hear a thing. The only noises were his own breathing and soft puffs of air from behind him. He wasn't going to turn around and look at the Spaniard; he was just going to ignore him. Scowling, he kicked at the door, sinking down to the ground. Why couldn't anyone understand that when he had yelled about not wanting anything to do with Antonio, he had meant it? It hadn't meant 'help us mend our friendship,' it hadn't meant 'fix us.' It meant 'I'm done with him.'

"Lovino?" The tone sounded cautious, as if it was testing the waters before diving in from somewhere it couldn't return from. Lovino shook his head, stood up, and made to leave. He could probably take shelter in one of the campus coffee shops until curfew hit. "Lovi-"

"Shut up." He still hadn't turned around, couldn't tell where Antonio was. He could still be frozen in place from being shoved outside for all he knew. "I'll repeat myself if you couldn't get it through your head the first time: I don't _care_ if I've known you since we were kids, I don't want anything to do with you. Forget you even know me if you want. I. Don't. Care." Of course, this wasn't exactly true. He did care. The sensation of Antonio's lips on his was still there. He began to walk off again, only to be tackled down into the snow on the ground. He could feel the cold seep into his blazer and sweater, feel heat on his back, and warm air against the side of his neck. This wasn't something he was expecting, and it made him even madder that Antonio would try that shit. "Get off of me."

"No, I'm not moving."

"Antonio, get the fuck off of me."

"No. Not until you listen to me. Not until this whole thing is settled."

Lovino scowled. Did no one listen to him when he said he was done with Antonio? It wasn't that hard to understood, was it? He immediately pushed himself off the ground, taking Antonio by surprise and making him cry out. As soon as he felt Antonio's weight off of him, he flipped over and was about to stand up and bolt before he felt a hand grab his ankle.

"Why do you not want to hear me out? Did I do something that's unforgivable?"

"You asshole, of course you fucking did! And you know damn well what it was!" Lovino angrily told him, unsuccessfully trying to yank his ankle away.

"Do I? The last time we talked, and that wasn't even talking, you just said you wanted nothing to do with me at all. No explanation. And before you just called me an asshole and left. Want do you want me to believe? All I did was try to—"

"To make fun of me and ridicule me! Wasn't it? By trying to make light of a serious topic for your own damn amusement!" Lovino scoffed, watching Antonio's shocked reaction to his words. Was he that stupid? Antonio shook his head, bringing himself to his knees.

"You think I did that for a laugh?" Lovino nodded, frowning. "Don't you think that maybe that was something very important to me? That I had used a lot of courage to finally get the nerve to say something about how I felt to you?"

"As if you'd ever actually fall in love with me. Let's face it straight on, right now," Lovino stood up, looking down at Antonio. "You might like me, but it's not the same fucking way that I do, you asshole." He hadn't realized what he had said until he saw the look of utter disbelief on the Spaniards face. As Antonio slowly stood up, Lovino silently cursed and took a step bad. "Fuck. I…"

"Lovino…" Antonio breathed out. "You like me? As in, you like me more than a friend?"

He could feel a rock fall to the bottom of his stomach making him swallow and look away from Antonio. What in the world was he thinking just saying that out loud and putting himself out in the open like that? He couldn't let Antonio know how much that had affected him.

"Lovi, please look at me." Antonio's voice sounded way closer than it had been just a few seconds ago. "Lovi?"

"Don't call me that," he whispered, heart beating way to fast as he tried to move further back. Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed that as he was moving back he was moving right into the trunk of a tree.

"Lovino, please." He felt Antonio's hand under his chin, gently nudging it upwards. He let his head be moved but kept his eyes focused on something off to the side so he didn't have to look at Antonio's eyes. "If you really mean that, do you know how happy that would make me?"

"What?" Lovino asked softly, glancing towards Antonio but being caught off guard by how close to him he really was.

"I really meant what I said that day. I like you. I know we've known each other for such a long time, and I'm not joking around with my feelings for you…" Lovino gulped hearing those words coming from Antonio's mouth. Why in the world would someone like Antonio (who the girls compared to a prince charming) like someone like Lovino who was crude and had the mouth to match it? Cautiously, he tried to make Antonio move away from by stepping closer, but it didn't work, Antonio stubbornly staying in the same spot.

"Okay, where's the camera? This is a prank, isn't it?" Lovino looked around, trying to make it seem like the crack in his voice right then hadn't happened.

"What's going to finally convince you that I'm being serious, Lovino?" Antonio almost yelled, making Lovino look him straight in the eyes. "I'm sorry if it feels that way, but I've been in love with _you_ , Lovino Vargas, since _we_ _were_ _little_!"

Lovino just gaped at him, heart stopping in its tracks at how raw the expression on Antonio's face was. He wanted to frown, wanted to curse into his face, and at the same time he wanted to break down and let Antonio pull him close. Not putting any thought into it, he slid down the trunk of the tree, making Antonio start to babble and get down in a kneeling position.

"Ah, did I not say something right again?" Antonio muttered exhaling loudly, one hand running through his hair nervously. A motion he had seen many times, but never with such a distressed face. Lovino watched him, not saying anything. The quietness was nice, especially since everything in his mind was a whirlwind of chaos.

Turning away to not look at Antonio, Lovino spoke quietly, "so, that kiss… why did you apologize if you were being serious?"

"I thought you didn't want it," Antonio answered just as quietly, "You kind of rejected me that day…"

"You're an asshole." He shoved Antonio's shoulder, carefully keeping his eyes from meeting the other's.

"Huh?"

"If you meant it, then you shouldn't have apologized, you moron."

"Wait, then you—!"

Lovino finally looked up at him, smiling the tiniest amount, "yes, goddammit."

Antonio smiled, moving to hug Lovino. "I told you it would make me happy!" Taking a risk, Lovino gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He could feel his cheeks get warmer, watching Antonio's face grow brighter with joy. Despite wanting to stay mad at Matthew for everything that he had been forced into in an attempt to get him to talk to Antonio, he couldn't really anymore. And really, what would've happened if he hadn't meddled? Maybe, they never would have gotten around to talking about it. Well, sort of talking about it.

"That's in return for the one you took back."


	8. November 20th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After taking ages on this, here is the last chapter! Yay

Honestly, he hadn’t thought that the little he had said to Gilbert would have put a strain on their friendship. It had only been a week and already he had started to feel like Gilbert was slowly moving away from him. Not physically, but he was acting more distant as if they hadn’t spent the whole semester getting closer.  It was weird, especially when thy both showed up at the café they went to at the same time but didn’t sit together.

Matthew sighed, taking out the homework he was going to do, moving his hot chocolate slightly away, and looking up to glance at what Gilbert was doing. He was simply talking to Pam with a smile on his face. It really was a wonder that almost no one knew this softer side of him… the side that was caring towards other and super attentive.

He shook his head quickly, cheeks starting to feel warm. He wasn’t the only one who Gilbert showed that side to. He had other friends of course. Moving quickly, he started to work on his homework, deciding that it would be better to just finish what he had come to do.

After only having worked for about a half hour, he felt someone slide into the seat across from him. He looked up, pushing his glasses up from where they had slumped down. Matthew blinked realizing he had forgotten about his drink absently before focusing on his guest. “Yes Gilbert?”

Gilbert smiled a bit, waving his hand in a greeting fashion. “Just wondering how you’re doing… We haven’t talked much, have we?” Matthew frowned, setting down the highlighter he had been holding and closing his book. Was that what Gilbert was viewing their distance as?

“I guess so.” There wasn’t much more he could answer, was there? “I’m just trying to finish this homework.”

Gilbert, looked down towards his pile of papers, book, and journal. “It’s getting close to the end of the semester, isn’t it?”

“It is.” This type of talk annoyed him, it felt as if Gilbert didn’t know him all. It all felt so stuffy and distant. Matthew exhaled, tilting his head slightly, “Gilbert, was there something you wanted to actually tell me?”

At that, the other looked a bit taken a back. Did that not sound like something he’d say? While waiting for an answer, Matthew decided to start putting his stuff away. This was going nowhere and since his drink wasn’t hot anymore, he might as well start heading back to the dorm. Glancing at Gilbert, he seemed to want to say something but shook his head and rested his chin in his hand.

“I want to talk to you.”

“You can, right now.”

“No, in private. Not here. I want to talk about the other day, before Antonio and Lovino showed up.”

“Gilbert…”

“Mattie,” Gilbert started speaking in a serious tone, looking slightly desperate. “I know you said you didn’t have an answer, but still- I want to talk this out. I’m not having any of that misunderstanding shit Antonio and Lovino went through.” He stood up, leaving a scrap of paper on the table near Matthew’s phone. “Meet me after classes are over, around four here,” he tapped the paper, “I’ll be there waiting for you. That is… if you want to show up.”

Grabbing the piece of paper, Matthew let his shoulders slump. Was this really necessary? Sure, he had been feeling different around Gilbert, but he wouldn’t… he couldn’t say it was love, was it? Not that he had ever been in love before… but wasn’t supposed to be different? More of a fireworks kind of thing than what he had been feeling?

Despite what Alfred and Lovino had been telling him, how could they be sure of him liking Gilbert that way? Shouldn’t he know more about it than anyone else? And really, was there any reason not to talk about this with Gilbert? Even if it was to just convince Gilbert that he did not like him that way and wasn’t planning on dating any time soon.

“We’ll see what happens, okay?”

Gilbert just nodded before walking away from him and going back over to Pam. Matthew scrambled to get up, shove the paper into his pocket, and finish packing up so he could leave.

He didn’t think he’d be able to get any of his homework done that day…

* * *

It was slowly inching closer to four. He didn’t have a three to four class like Gilbert did so he was in his room, mind running at a high speed with thoughts about whether he’d meet Gilbert and if he did, what he’d say. Lovino had gotten back late from classes and was currently reading some book that Matthew honestly didn’t bother asking about. Currently, the only thing he cared about was what Gilbert wanted to say to him and _why_ _it couldn’t wait and oh my god this is making me anxious_.

He literally only had twenty minutes to decide whether he would actually meet Gilbert or feign that he forgot even though he _knew_ Gilbert would figure out that he chose not to go. Matthew hadn’t even noticed that he had started pacing and that Lovino was now crossly glaring at him.

“Okay, I give. What in the world are pacing about?” Jumping slightly, Matthew turned to Lovino and gave him a blank stare. His mouth was open trying to get words out but failing. Lovino sighed, set his book aside, and sat up. Oh no, this was going to turn into Lovino convincing him to go, wasn’t it?

“I… Gilbert… I mean,” he stuttered trying to piece his jumbled thoughts into some type of coherent sentence. “Gilbert wants me to… meet him at four. To talk.”

“That’s in fifteen minutes.” Matthew could only nod, feeling a cold sensation travel down his throat and into his stomach. “And you’re still deciding? What the fuck does he need to say to you?”

“It’s about the other day… before we shoved you and Antonio out into the snow.” He sat down on the ground, staring at his crossed legs, “He kind of… asked me if I liked him.”

“And?”

“…said he liked me… I said I didn’t know…” Matthew let his voice die down by itself. His last words were definitely more quiet than what he had intended.

“You what?!” Lovino sounded more than shocked, “Matthew, didn’t I tell you to take care of your own issues?” Lovino was standing now, he could tell from how his legs actually touched the floor now. “And I know I’m not the only one who’s told you so! Alfred has too, hasn’t he? You actually said you don’t know after Gilbert told you he likes you?!”

“Lovino… I honestly don’t know how I feel about Gilbert.”

Matthew looked up Lovino, ignoring the fact that the Italian wanted to go on a mini rant about Matthew ignoring his own emotions. He did not know how to go about this. Helping his friends was one thing, he was outside of the problem then, now he’s part of it… He couldn’t think of his own solutions…

“…re you even listening to me?”

“Huh?”

Lovino sighed, almost as if he had given up. “Just. Go. At the very least so you don’t leave open ends. We have break in two and a half weeks, after that you can’t do anything else.”

Matthew kept looking at him confused. He kind of wanted to go, if only to see what Gilbert had to say… But at the same time, the very thought of having to go was making him anxious. “But-”

“No buts! Go! Before Gilbert gives up waiting for you. Jeez, you’re hardheaded when it comes to yourself.” Lovino held out his hand, prompting Matthew to take it. Reluctantly, he let Lovino pull him up. He frowned before moving to grab his coat and keys. “You’ve got to stop doing that. You’ll run yourself into the ground.”

With a final piece of advice, he was pushed unceremoniously from their dorm into the hall. He could already feel a cold sensation taking over his stomach as he walked towards Gilbert.

* * *

He felt apprehensive about walking in. He had only just gotten there and his thoughts were already yelling at him to turn around and head back. And at the same time… wasn’t this something he had wanted to experience?

Before he could make up his mind, Matthew walked through the garden’s archway, making his way towards the tiny marble bench in the back that was a bit more hidden from sight than the others. He had a good idea why Gilbert chose to meet here, but he didn’t want to dwell on it. Even if he confirmed it, that would make this too real.

And he didn’t like Gilbert that way. Of course, he didn’t, any jumps to his heartbeat and flushes across his skin were caused by other things.

“Mattie!”

He was so distracted that he hadn’t noticed when he reached where Gilbert had been sitting. Matthew felt himself flush as Gilbert stood up, a look of disbelief on his face.

“I thought you weren’t going to come,” he said looking away. “You didn’t seem too interested in hearing me out.” That made Matthew freeze on the spot. He wasn’t completely wrong. It was more like he couldn’t give Gilbert a straight answer.

“I—I didn’t try to seem that way…”

“You were just avoiding talking about it when I tried to clear the air with you.”

“No I wasn’t!” Matthew blurted out, immediately covering his mouth with a hand. He shook his head and looked down. That wasn’t what he had intended to do. Gilbert had avoided him for a bit too, hadn’t he? “I wasn’t purposefully trying to avoid you…. But you didn’t approach me either.”

He could hear Gilbert shuffle around, sigh, and plop back down on the bench. “Look Mattie, I don’t want us to start arguing about this.” He nodded, deciding to sit down cross-legged on the gravel path. “Can I explain my part?”

Matthew look up, seeing a serious look on the other’s face. He motioned that he was listening. That made Gilbert almost deflate with relief.

“Thank you.”

 Had it been sunny when he left the dorm? He didn’t notice when it had become cloudy again. It made the branches of the rose bushes stand out, despite them being barren and lightly covered in snow.

“I’ve wanted to tell you that I like you for a while. But every time I tried to, you either steered the conversation elsewhere or I couldn’t find a good opening.” Gilbert stopped to look Matthew in the face. “That’s why I decided to just say it. We were just waiting. I thought you felt the same.”

“Gilbert…”

“You seriously haven’t thought about it?”

He sighed out. “No.”

“You haven’t felt anything around me?”

“N—” _Yes_ , he had. But that couldn’t possibly be enough to say it was a crush on him…. was it? Crushes meant constantly thinking about that person. Crushes meant wondering about how it would feel to date them, to hold their hand, to kiss them. He had never imagined that with Gilbert. “…I don’t know.”

“You paused…” Gilbert looked at him curiously. “You can explain if you want.”

Matthew stayed silent, fiddling with his fingers while trying to think of a response. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Gilbert… but what would he do then? “I… I’ve never had a crush on anyone… I don’t know what it’s like.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

Frustrated, Matthew stood up. It scared Gilbert to the point of almost falling off the bench. “I haven’t thought about dating you! You make me feel… confused.” It was hard to not look at Gilbert while he spoke, he felt like if he looked at him, he’d explode from embarrassment. “I… feel something… like… fluttering feelings. But I’ve never imagined myself doing couple things with you…”

“Fluttering feelings?” It made Matthew’s heart skip a beat when he saw how hopeful that had made Gilbert. He seemed like a little kid that had just been given a puppy.

He could feel his cheeks heat up, “do I have to answer that…?”

Gilbert shook his head rapidly, “no, no!” He was still smiling, but it was smaller. “I guess… how about this.” He reached out to grab Matthew’s hand, pulling him down into the seat and readjusting himself so they’d fit onto the bench. He breathed out and looked down, almost like he was trying to ignore the confused look Matthew was giving him. “You don’t have to give me an answer. At least for now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Go on a few dates with me.”

“Gilbert…”

He looked up just to stick his tongue out at the Matthew. “Three dates. That’s all I ask for, Mattie.”

“But—”

“If, by then, you still don’t feel anything more than you do now, then I’ll know your answer.” Gilbert cocked his head, sticking out a thumbs-up, “so, is it a deal?”

It didn’t sound bad. He could think and come to a conclusion later. A test run of what a relationship might be like with Gilbert, but without the label. Three dates. It made his heart beat faster. He kind of liked the idea. “That… I can do that.”

“Yes!” Gilbert jumped up, punching into the air with excitement. He couldn’t stop smiling at Matthew, “that’s good enough for me.”

Sighing out, Matthew sunk down into the bench. He thought Gilbert would expect a straight answer from him. Fortunately, it had worked out without a problem. He stayed quiet, wondering how to end it without it being awkward. Gilbert was happily murmuring to himself about ideas. Maybe he didn’t need to say anything, or have anything planned. This time, he could figure out his feelings as the events happened.

Then he’d tell Gilbert how he felt.


End file.
